Slow Down
by YeahCapes
Summary: Life was flying by for Katie Knight, and she wished it would just slow down.
1. Dak Zebon and Logan Mitchell

**So this is my first fanfiction in a while; I started up a new account. I'm a huge fan of BTR, and have read a lot of fanfiction for it:) so I decided to take a shot and write my own. I was watching 'Big Time Photoshoot' the second time it was on and a random thought popped into my head, and I started to think of a story.. so we'll see where this goes. I have a general idea.**

**Please, feel free to review. I'd love the criticism. Also, I'm sorry this is really short, but I wanted to end it at a certain spot, and couldn't think of much else to fill it with in between.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything affiliated with Big Time Rush. No matter how much I wish I did..**

_Logan took the poster from Katie. "Let me see that." She obliged, letting him take it from her hands. Her brother's friends were crazy, annoying, strange, and wild, to say the least, but she didn't really mind being around them. They were basically just extended family; she could survive living with Kendall. She watched the older boy, curious as to why he wanted Dak Zebon's face. _

"_I'm Dak Zebon and I love you Katie Knight," Logan mocked her favorite teen idol. She rolled her eyes, holding in the laughter she didn't want to release from her lips. No way was he going to get a chuckle for that. It was a relief to her when she actually could laugh, as a crowd of girls seemed to come from nowhere and tackle Logan, leaving his shirt completely messed up._

"_Ouchies."_

Katie supposed that was the first time she'd ever really felt bad for Logan, or any of the guys. She'd taken pity on them, but they had it coming most of the time with their wild shenanigans.

She sighed, looking at the poster of Dak Zebon that had been hanging on her wall for the past 7 years. Never had she had the heart to take it down; it was just one of those sentimental childhood memories. Even more so thanks to her brother and his friends, and even Gustavo. _Well, I wouldn't have been at Rocque Records that day if he hadn't shipped us to California. _She smiled for a moment, before realizing she'd have to take the thing down sometime today. It wasn't staying here while she moved; this room was no longer hers. Everything else in the room was packed up, most already in the car. A few boxes lingered, more ready than Katie herself was to leave. Reluctantly, she carefully took down the poster, trying not to rip it, before giving up and tearing it down. Crumpling it in her hands she tossed it in the garbage, and called Logan.

"Logan! I'm ready."

"Good," he said, walking in the room. "Kendall just texted me asking how long you'd be. I told him to be patient, it's not everyday that you move out of your home."

"Thanks," she smiled. "So, just grab whatever boxes, I'll take the rest."

"Alright. You know, everyone's really proud of you. This whole acting career has really worked out for you, hasn't it?" He picked up two heavy boxes, one on top of the other. "It's hard to stay stable in any creative business, but you've changed for the better. No longer are you hustling Palm Woods staff," he laughed as Katie stuck out her tongue.

They walked out of the room, each carrying their share of things, and headed towards the elevator.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm still pretty slick, though, if I do say so myself."

Logan nodded his head to the side in agreement.

"There you guys are. Finally. James and Carlos are over at the house already, Katie; we should get going."

"Fine. But, it is _my_ house, and I'll get there when I want to. Come on, it's not everyday you move out of your home." Logan snorted at this, gaining an amused look from Katie and a confused one from Kendall, who shook his head and helped them load the last of the boxes in the car.

Katie sat in the back, a hand on one of her bags, as Kendall drove with Logan shotgun. She gazed out the window, looking but not really seeing what was outside. Her thoughts were too clouded in her mind, and tears were starting to form in her eyes, preventing her from seeing anything anyway. She was eighteen for crying out loud, why was she crying? Because she missed her mommy? She hadn't truly needed her mom since she was little; being independent was just her way. It hadn't sunk in until about now that she was actually leaving home. It had never occurred to her that she'd actually miss it _that _fucking _much._She lifted her left hand up to her eyes and gently wiped away her tears. _Be strong, Katie. This is a new beginning. New memories to make. New people to meet. New insane bosses to deal with. And you're only minutes from home. Well, your old home, anyway._

She looked forward to see Logan looking at her, a sympathetic smile on his face. Embarrassed, she looked the other way, pretending to be distracted by something outside. Why did he have to do that to her? She was already embarrassed enough to be crying privately. Why did he have to see her? And why did he always have to be so nice? That was his problem. Too nice. Too smart and logical and realistic. Too, _everything._ Sometimes she wished her brother had found normal friends back in Minnesota to take with him. Even making normal friends at the Palm Woods would have been nice, but, well, that's just impossible to accomplish. But then, she wouldn't have the great support system that was James, Carlos, and Logan.

"We're here," Kendall turned in his seat, smiling brightly at his younger sister. She was finally an adult, and he was so proud of her. He'd do basically anything to see her happy, and was surprised by the almost regretful expression on her face. "What's wrong, Katie?"

"I don't know if I can do this." Did she say that out loud?

"Do what?"

"Move. Start my own life. I don't know."

"Of course you can. You're _my_ sister, aren't you?"

"Don't get such a big head. You're not **all** that great," she smirked.

"Ahh, there's the Katie I've grown to know and love."

Rolling her eyes, she got out of the car, looking at the street that surrounded her. It was pleasant and friendly looking, the kind of place you'd love to grow up in as a kid, with nice houses and tree filled yards. Hopefully, there wouldn't be too many little rascals around to distract her, Katie thought. Not that she had anything against kids, but she was stressed enough on her own.

She turned her attention to her own house, which seemed smaller than most of the others. It was still grand, but enough for just her. Logan and Kendall had already gone inside, greeted by their two other friends, and she followed suit, carrying her last bag.

_This is it, Katie. Home sweet home. Just go on through those doors._

Slowly, she walked up the steps to her newly purchased house. It was weird for her. Yesterday, it felt like, she was still eleven years old. Life was flashing past her at great speed, and she wished it would slow down.


	2. New Houses and Strange Smells

"_Here we are, 2J," The pudgy elder man huffed. Katie recalled Kelly saying his name once before… Mr. Bitters? Yeah, she supposed that was it. It was a fitting name, too; the tone of his voice only showed aggravation and resentment He ought to be fun to tease a bit. _

_ She couldn't help but feel excited at the idea of a new home in California. Of course, there were friends she had left behind in Minnesota, but anyone worth keeping close knew how to email. It was the twenty-first century, for crying out loud. Looking around, she noticed the boys were beginning to get antsy while the grumpy manager struggled to fit the key in the lock._

_ Kendall smiled down at Katie and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She grinned sweetly back at him. He may be a nuisance to her most of the time, but he was still her older brother who she loved. Even though she wasn't one to admit it much out loud. _

_ "And, welcome home, kids." Was there a hint of malevolence in his voice? Katie wondered, but decided not to care._

_ "Ahmm.." _

_ "And you, Ms. Knight," the manager added apologetically._

_ "Thank you Mr. Bitters," Ms. Knight said with gratitude. She considered retracting her statement almost immediately, though, as she stepped inside. Unfortunately, Mr. Bitters seemed to have disappeared. It was a talent of his she'd soon become used to. Taking a breath, she held in her distaste for the sake of Katie and the boys. No use complaining and starting a riot with the younger ones._

_ "Well, it's definitely.. something." She said finally._

_ Kendall snorted. "It's something alright."_

_ "As long as there's a bathroom with enough for my hair products, it's fine," James commented. Everyone rolled their eyes. It was like James to put his hair before comfort._

_ "Like we'll be spending most of our time inside this place anyway? There's plenty of fun to be had and girls to admire outside," Carlos said enthusiastically._

_ "Carlos has a point," Logan admitted._

_ It was a dump. But for now, it was home._

"Here we are, your new home," Logan said encouragingly as Katie trudged up the steps. He smiled down at her, literally. In seven years she'd grown to barely 5'3" exactly. The usually fairly short Logan towered over her now. Katie glanced up, searching for some sort of strength to actually go in. It was unneeded though, as the boy (or was it man, now? Katie thought) rolled his eyes dramatically and shoved her into her new house.

The bag she'd been carrying immediately dropped to the ground. This was the wrong place. It _had_ to be. There was no way Carlos and James could have set this up in two hours. Someone else, maybe. But those two crazies? No way.

Her face must have given away her surprised happiness, for James and Carlos began to smile like idiots. "So, we know we're guys, and not perfect with the whole interior decorating thing.. especially with little to work with but, we did well, huh? Admit it," James said. Katie could only nod.

The light beige walls of the living room showcased old pictures in neat black frames which hung nicely beside each other on the walls. Two leather couches sat parallel, only a simple patterned carpet separating them and covering the hard wood flooring. The only two light sources aside from the sun were hand-me-down lamps that sat upon the antique mahogany side tables she's managed to find at a garage sale the other day. The room was simple, but well put together. Katie had to admit she was impressed. The other rooms lay in disarray, but she would get to that later.

Her kitchen was filled with the new appliances it had come with, and she was delighted to find that the guys had taken the job of putting her dishes etc. away for her. Now she'd just have to figure out where everything was..

There was a full sized dining room leading out from the kitchen. There was a simple dining table with only three chair set up. _Why three? I told Kendall to get me a set._ She rolled her eyes to herself. _Don't send a man out to do a woman's job, I guess._

As she walked back around to the foyer, Katie noticed Kendall reaching for the bag she'd earlier dropped. In one swift motion, she leapt towards him and grabbed it.

"Uh, I don't think so, Ken. You're not seeing my upstairs before I do."

Kendall only laughed and allowed his sister to run up the stairs before him and Logan.

Lemons. That was the wave of scent that hit Katie dead on as she reached the top step.

"Whoa, you guys go a little air freshener crazy?"

"Haha-cah-cough," Logan choked on the smell. "Seriously?"

"We wanted it to.. smell nice.." James called up.

"Yeah. And don't worry about the air conditioner. We'll buy you a new one." Carlos added.

"What the hell are you guys talking abo-" Katie started, but was cut off by Kendall. He'd gone to her room and opened the door. She turned to see what he was gaping at. Sure enough, there was the remains of an air conditioner lying on the ground. The _new_ one she'd bought days ago. It looked as if it had been partially burned, partially smashed.

"Do I **want **to know?" she asked, and couldn't help but laugh instead of being angry.

"No…" she could hear Carlos and James call up simultaneously.


	3. Macaroni and Dinosaur Fights

**A/N: Hey, it's been a while, I know. What can I say? I've just had a lot on my plate. But I'm back! Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. Your comments and opinions do mean a lot. And someone definitely has a grip on where I'm planning on taking the story… yeah, you should know who you are. Because, you're right.**

"_You also have to stop feeding me dinosaur shaped chicken!" Kendall breathed, aggravated._

"_But you love your dinosaur chicken," Ms. Knight replied, smiling. He was still her little boy, after all._

"_Yeah," Kendall paused, thinking, "When I was EIGHT." _

"_We're men now, Ms. Knight!" Logan added from his seat. _

"_Eat your chicken," Ms. Knight said dully, physically turning the boy's head around._

_Katie laughed at his failure, gaining a smirk and shifty eyes from Logan. Her attention soon turned to James and Carlos though, as was usual during dinner. Being the immature teen boys they were, the two were making their pieces of dinosaur shaped chicken fight each other. And __**they**__ were the sixteen year olds? Sometimes Katie swore she was the only person under legal age with at least half a brain in this apartment. Growing bored of watching her brother's friends, she decided to just look down, shifting her macaroni from side to side on her plate. She could hear her mom finally caving, allowing the guys to mansion sit, and felt the table move at Carlos' jump of excitement. He happened to knock over James' glass of chocolate milk, and a fight ensued. Figures, thought Katie. She was surprised it had taken that long. She glanced up to see Logan giving her a look, as if to say, 'You thinking what I'm thinking?' She smiled in response, and they both took the remains of the fighting boys' chicken._

Katie rummaged through the cooler of food she had brought, trying to find something decent to make. She had offered the guys dinner in return for their help today, although she was almost regretting it, seeing as James and Carlos break almost everything they touch. Nonetheless, they'd done a fair job otherwise, and was actually in a really good mood considering how she'd felt earlier. Sighing, she called out, "What do you guys want?"

"I don't know," the four returned, seemingly in unison.

"Load of help you all are!" she shouted, quietly adding, "Wouldn't matter anyway, seeing as I've got only so much to work with.."

Blindly she grabbed into the cooler, feeling for something she could possibly just heat up or something. "Dinosau- what?" Katie could hear herself speaking aloud. "Mom must've dumped random stuff from the freezer in here.." she mumbled. She figured it was good enough, seeing as the guys would eat about anything.

**

"Okay," Katie breathed, "It's ready." And she swore she never saw them come in.

Carlos and James sat beside each other, like old times, and Katie started to wonder if they'd start bickering over something like spilt milk again. But, they were men now, she thought, and as crazy as they were, that was ridiculous. Maybe she still needed some help getting her head out of the past. Logan and Kendall sat across from them, leaving the head spot for Katie, beside James and Logan. (The only reason there were enough chairs was because Katie's neighbors had been nice enough to let her borrow some. Stupid Kendall couldn't buy a full set?)

Feeling good about how the day had gone, overall, Katie sat down. It was to her surprise (though it shouldn't have been, she thought), when everyone was quiet and civil. It had been years since the five of them had all sat down together to eat. The guys were all 23, and living on their own, though they still worked together. Conversation was awkward and small talk for a while, but things seamlessly returned to a normal status from there.

"Macaroni and cheese and dinosaur chicken..." Kendall had said, and Katie wasn't sure if he was just surprised or disappointed.

She smiled, "It's all I have. You don't have to eat i-"

Logan cut her off, eyeing Kendall, "It's fine. Thanks, Katie, because you didn't have to make us anything at all." Kendall rolled his eyes at his friend's politeness, but added, "He's right. Thank you baby sister."

"No problem. Now, eat before the chicken becomes frozen again."

Suddenly, Carlos jumped, causing James' class of soda to spill. In return, James sent him a death glare. "Sorry, my phone vibrated and scared the shit out of me," Carlos said meekly. James' glare didn't soften, and he just motioned downward at his pants, which, everyone assumed, were soaked with coca-cola. Katie kept herself from laughing, not wanting to let anyone see how this could make her happy.

"Man, I said I was sorry."

"Yeah. Cos of your phone. Really?"

"Hey man, what's with the attitude?"

"These are my favorite pants!"

Logan leaned over towards Katie. "5.." The two quarrelling men were now yelling. "4.." James had his face inches from Carlos, and they were still shouting profanities and the like at each other. "3.." By now, Carlos had gotten himself on top of his chair, so that he would now tower over the usually tall James. "2.." James stood up, not phased by his friend's new height. "1.." The guys lunged at each other and began to wrestle on the floor. Once again, Katie tried not to laugh, because yeah, she missed those two 16 year old boys who would fight over chicken and milk.

"Guys," Katie managed to choke out between giggles, "Stop." It was only a half-hearted attempt but hey, she tried, didn't she?

James placed a hand on the table, attempting to pull himself up. Carlos grabbed his legs and pulled him back down. James' hand hit a plate, knocking it along with its contents on top of himself. "My hair! I gelled it perfectly today.. Carlos!!" He grabbed a fistful of macaroni and slathered it on top of his friend's head. Katie watched in half amusement, and half horror at her new dining room becoming stained with macaroni and cheese and dinosaur chicken bits as James did so. But the horror was momentarily forgotten when Carlos began to lick the remainder of food off of his face. By now, Kendall was on the floor cracking up, almost to tears. Logan remained in his chair, looking as if his sides were about to burst, but not daring to utter a sound.

"Logan, you can laugh."

He looked at her, unsure. They _were_ basically ruining her apartment. Katie rolled her eyes and glanced back at the food fight taking place. She honestly didn't care about the mess. Hey, it would give her something to do later. She looked back at Logan.

He could feel her eyes on him with his peripheral vision, and turned his head to her. She was giving him a questioning look. He nodded in response before following her lead and taking the remains of James' and Carlos' chicken.


	4. To Clean Up the Mess

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews:) They really encourage me to keep writing. This story has kind of changed from what I originally had planned.. it's not going to be as long as I wanted, but there are still plenty of chapters ahead. The next couple of chapters I'll give you a little more insight on BTR itself, and where the guys are in their lives (or at least Kendall and Logan..). **

"_Dangit!" Katie shouted, desperately. All she had wanted to do was finish her stupid science project that was due tomorrow. It really shouldn't have been that hard. Katie was not incompetent. Having the darned thing explode all over the kitchen was not part of her plan today. She grumbled, taking in the mess before her (and next to her.. and above her.. and below her..). She sank slowly to the floor, allowing herself to slide on top of the blue goop she had created, probably ruining her jeans. That's one stain mom won't be happy about, Katie thought. She winced, hearing footsteps shuffle into the room. That was exactly what she needed. _

"_Katie! What's wro- whoa.." Logan trailed off mid-sentence. He was the only one in the house, which gave Katie a bit of relief. The guys had all gone down to the pool while he chose (wisely) to stay in and study for a test they had tomorrow. Her mom was off still trying to find a decent job. _

"_My life. Is. Fail." Was all the eleven year old could choke out. She felt absolutely absurd, sitting on the floor, covered in blue.. stuff. She really didn't know what it was._

"_What happened?" Logan asked, bending down. "Was it your project? I mean, wh.. blue..? I'm confused."_

"_Mom's gonna kill me."_

"_Come on, it was an accident. And you were doing school work, it's not like you were creating a mess on purpose- you weren't creating a mess on purpose, were you?"_

"_No. I was following the directions and the stupid thing exploded and I don't know what I did and now there's a huge mess and I'm an idiot."_

"_Whoa, whoa, you're not an idiot. We all make mistakes, Katie. Would it make you feel better if I helped you to clean up? And maybe helped with your project, too? I mean, I'm pretty good with science." Katie laughed to herself. Logan, only 'pretty good' at any subject was funny. He was a freaking genius._

_She accepted the older boys hand and allowed him to pull her up. She smiled faintly, glad he had offered to help. "Thanks. I'd like that."_

"_Don't mention it. You know, I'll always be here to help you clean up the mess. Whatever it is. Just don't be afraid to ask."_

"Sorry about the me-" Katie covered James' mouth, pushing him out the door. He and Carlos had offered to help her clean up themselves, but frankly, Katie didn't trust them. It was as simple as that. Things would get done at a much faster rate without them around.

"Don't worry guys, I've got it. Just, go. Please," she finally managed to say, shutting the door.

"Hey, Katie, I wanna help you clean up, but.. Jo just called and.. well.." Of course, Katie thought, ignoring her brother. She'd almost forgotten Kendall had mentioned he might go on a movie-date-night with his fiancé. She was actually surprised they had made it that far in a relationship, what with barely anything in common.

"Go. Go, go, go, go." She motioned toward the door. "Seriously. Leave. Now. Go see your beautiful bride-to-be. I'm just your unimportant little sister. Just remember that you owe me one."

"Thanks, sis. And I do not owe you. I helped you move in today, remember?"

"That doesn't matter. Besides, you owe me for my whole life. Having to grow up with you and everything."

Kendall laughed, giving Katie a hug before leaving.

"Looks like it's just you and me.." Logan said. Katie had almost forgotten he was still there.

"Oh, so you're not going to leave, too?" she joked, smirking.

"Of course not. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll always be here to help you clean up the mess. Literally or figuratively. This time.. literally.." Logan scrunched his face, looking back at the mess his two friends had left.

"Well, thank you," Katie replied genuinely. Logan really had always been there. Of course, Kendall was too, but there would always be those times when he couldn't. And that was when Logan came in. He somehow always magically saved the day when she was in trouble or just needed help. Katie didn't know why, but he was. She never had to ask, either. He jus-

Logan grabbed Katie's hand, startling her, shaking her from her thoughts. "Come on, let's get started." He dragged her from her spot in the foyer into the dining room. As he let go, she rubbed her hand where he had held it. He must have gotten pretty strong overnight, Katie thought. She had lost all feeling in her hand, it was completely numb. "Come _on_," Logan laughed, flicking a bit of cold water from a bucket on the floor at Katie.

"Haha, sorry, just went a little brain dead for a moment," Katie replied as she picked up a sponge, soaking it in the sudsy water.

"You know, if you had really gone brain dead, you _would___ be dead."

"Oh, shut up, brainiac, now isn't the time to be a smartass."

"Ooh, touchy," Logan smiled, but focused on scrubbing the floor.

"You think you know so much, huh?" Katie teased. "Hey! Dab, don't rub, _smart one; _you rub, you stain."

"I guess I don't know as much as I thought.." he admitted, looking Katie in the eyes. She caught his glimpse straight on and held it, not sure what force was keeping her there. Her stomach twisted, and it was hard for her not to cry out at the feeling in her gut. Words began to form on her lips, but they were unfamiliar to her, and she lost them before she could speak.

"You're right, you don't," she managed to spit out, finally, and smiled. For whatever reason Logan had gone back to focusing on the carpet alone, and Katie couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. "..but I'd kill to be as smart as you.." She hoped that would help him to show his award-winning smile again.

"Yeah, but no one really cares about intelligence. It's all looks.." Katie didn't quite understand what he was getting at- she sincerely thought he had it all in the looks department, though she wouldn't say that to him out loud. "If you're smart here, you're kind of a joke to some people. Other than what I am scientifically and mathematically, I'm a mess."

_Don't worry,_ Katie thought. _I'll always be around to help you clean up the mess._


	5. Update (Long Time, No See)

WOW. I have not updated this story in almost three years. I randomly remembered it today, and I'm feeling kind of sentimental about it. I've lost most of the ideas I had as to where I was going to take the story, but I do remember what I had in mind for the endgame. And I would like to end this story; I kind of can't stand to have it just stop.

I'm thinking about writing one last chapter to it to close things off. If anyone still follows this story and still cares about it, would that be alright?

Also, I am incredibly sorry to anyone who was waiting for this story when I just disappeared. & If anyone new finds this story after I updated, I hope you enjoyed what you read. I am working on writing the last chapter now.


	6. The Good Kind

**_So, thank you to those of you who reviewed after my update - some of you want me to write more than one more chapter, and I thought about it for a bit... I don't think this story will continue on for too much longer, but I will keep writing past this chapter._**

_"Kendall! Kendall, where's Mom!?" Katie called out, desperately. This was her real, honest-to-goodness first date, and she would be damned if anything went wrong. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed her mom. She was the only one who could understand her in her current frame of mind. "Kendall!" she called out, frustrated this time. Her dress was stuck and there was no way she was leaving her room to go find him._

_There was a knock on her door. _

_"Ken? Finally, why didn't you say-"_

_"Ugh, it's Logan. Kendall's kind of... tied up right now," he called through the door._

_"Tied up as in how?"_

_"Tied up as in... actually tied up. Uh, I honestly can't give you a proper explanation that won't take at least an hour so... what did you need?"_

_"I need Mom, that's what I need," she said, finally able to unhook her dress from where it had been caught. She zipped it up and went to the door. "Sorry, girl issues, I didn't mean to make you talk through the door."_

_"Heh, it's alright," Logan replied, a little awkwardly. "Uh, Ms. Kni- your mom left to go talk to Mr. Bitters about the leaks we've been getting. I could go downstairs and try and find her for you, if you want."_

_"No, no, it's fine," Katie sighed, plopping down on her bed. _

_Logan was smart enough to know that "fine" coming from a girl never really meant what "fine" was supposed to mean. He sat down next to her. "You're nervous, aren't you? That's okay, you know. A lot of people get nervous on first dates. I wouldn't trust anyone who didn't. You'll be perfectly alright, trust me."_

_"How do you know that? What if it goes horribly wrong?"_

_"Katie. When does anything go wrong for you?"_

_She laughed, knowing exactly what he meant. She did have a habit of getting what she wanted. And it wasn't often that a bad situation could stop her for long._

_"And besides," Logan continued, "life isn't perfect. Sometimes things go wrong. You just have to keep your head up, look ahead, and move on."_

_"But I really like this guy, Logan."_

_He turned to her, looking her straight in the eye. "If this guy is worth it, everything will be fine. If something goes wrong and he never talks to you again, what good is he? He already likes you enough to ask you out. For the millionth time, Katie, you will be okay. And if you aren't, you know we'll go beat him up for you. Well, Kendall definitely will."_

_"I guess you're right. Thanks, Logan. I'm still nervous though."_

_"It's probably butterflies. That's the good kind of nervous."_

"I have butterflies. Is that completely crazy? I feel like a teenager!" said Jo. She adjusted her dress, like she had a hundred times already, and turned in the mirror. Katie smiled, envying her (almost) sister-in-law of her excitement. She seemed so happy. So genuinely happy. It made Katie hope that she would be happy like that one day.

Jo and Kendall had been dating (on and off at first) for years. Everyone knew that they would end up together. But no one knew how much they really loved each other. Katie could guess, but she knew that even she didn't know. It must be nice, she thought, to be in love. At 18, she was only five years younger than her brother and his bride, but she had so much more to experience than they did.

But right now, today, it was about Kendall and Jo. Katie felt a swell of pride at the thought of her brother getting married. She was flattered that Jo had asked her to be a bridesmaid (thankful to not be the maid of honor - she had no idea how to take on that role); this was the first time she had been part of a wedding party. Jo had only two bridesmaids, her sister Sara and Katie; Camille was her maid of honor. Kendall had chosen his friends and band-mates to be in his wedding party, appointing Logan as best man for the sole reason that he considered him the most trustworthy.

"It's time," Jo's dad called from the hall.

"So, this is it," Jo took one last, long look in the mirror before turning around to head out the door. She allowed her bridesmaids to go ahead of her. Camille walked through first, as Logan stood next to Kendall at the alter. Sara looped arms with Carlos, and Katie wondered to herself how she possibly got stuck with James. As if he could read her thoughts, he nudged her slightly before linking their arms, "hey I'm not that bad."

Everything was a blur of tears and love and joy and people. The ceremony went off without a hitch, Logan's speech had been eloquent, and Jo and Kendall's first dance had made pretty much every female start to cry. It would have normally been much too much for Katie, but she found herself enjoying the atmosphere, almost floating. It wasn't until the end of the night that she crashed from her high. A long day it had been, and she was running purely on adrenaline as things started to wind down. Couples were either cuddled next to each other at their tables or out on the dance floor, holding each other up as they swayed drunkenly or tiredly to the songs that played. Katie suddenly felt very alone, sitting at her table, stirring her spoon endlessly in her coffee.

James and Carlos had found their girlfriends (yes! They had girlfriends - Katie still liked to laugh at the thought) and were dancing. Katie watched as Camille grabbed Logan's hand, tired of sitting, and pulled him out to dance with her. Literally pulled him - he wasn't much of a dancer, Katie knew, and he and Camille had been permanently broken up for years, so his face was drained and surprised all at the same time. Katie felt her stomach flip. Logan's face turned briefly apologetic, she didn't know why, and she wished that it hadn't. It made her feel bad. She smiled and gave him a thumbs up with one hand while making a crazy motion with the other. Logan cracked a smile and she felt relieved. So she went back to staring at her coffee, this time taking a sip to push down the nervous feeling in her stomach.

When the song ended, she was still nursing the coffee, thinking too much and feeling to much and wishing she could be home, asleep. She felt a tap on her shoulder, and looked up to see Logan. He stepped back and held out his hand, "May I have this dance?" She didn't answer, so Logan continued, "Camille found another guy to swing around the dance floor. I thought you looked kind of bored sitting here. So, would you like to dance?"

Katie swallowed and forced the words out of her mouth, "Sure." She took his hand, and thought a little to much about the warm feeling of his hand over hers. She felt that nervous feeling in her stomach again, but this time it was different. _It's probably butterflies,_ a voice in her head told her, _That's the good kind of nervous._


	7. Secret Place

_She looked behind her, sure she had heard footsteps. Katie wasn't one to be paranoid, but she _was_ observant. But she saw no one. So she kept walking, listening extra-carefully. The last thing she wanted was someone to follow her and find out about her "secret hiding place." It was somewhere she went to get away from the world, away from the craziness of the Palm Woods. In her secret place, she could think, worry, cry, plan, do whatever she wanted. Alone._

_Katie didn't go to her secret place often. There would be too much of a chance for others to find it if she did. She only went when she felt that she really needed to. And today, she did. She was young, but unusually strong (mentally, although physically as well) for her age. But that didn't mean she was indestructible. She just didn't let anyone see that side of her._

_Which is why she held in her tears until she reached her secret place. It was a little fort she had built in the woods by the beach, looking out toward the ocean. She had made it small, so that two full-sized adults could barely fit in it if they crouched. She had stashed books, pens, paper, and a couple of blankets in it. Carefully, she arranged the blankets around and made herself comfortable, cuddling up and looking out at the ocean while she let herself cry._

_"Katie?" a voice called, softly. Katie jumped in her seat and sniffled, trying to retract her tears and wipe the remainder from her face. "Katie?" It was Logan. He crouched down and looked into her secret place, and she tried to hide herself in the darkness of it. "Are you alright?" He had never seen or heard Katie cry before. And he had certainly never seen this little place she had made for herself._

_"Logan, please go away."_

_"No." _

_"Logan. Go away. I want to be alone."_

_"No," he answered, unsure why he was arguing. When Katie was emotional, she could get scary, even for a kid. _

_"Logan..."_

_"Katie, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong."_

_"Why do you care? Why are you here? Why did you follow me? You know what, I don't want to know, just please, please go away."_

_"I followed you because Kendall told me to look out for you while he was away, and I care because he is my best friend and you are his sister, and because in all the time I've known you I have never seen you upset and it hurts me to see you like this."_

_"Exactly, you've never seen me upset. I would have liked it to have stayed that way."_

_"Well, too bad. I'm here. And since I am, and I can't unsee any of this, you might as well just spill." Katie looked away, silent. "I promise I won't tell anyone about any of this."_

_Katie grumbled to herself, then sighed._

_"You might feel better if you talk to someone. Keeping things inside doesn't help any. Trust me, I've tried. You'll feel better if you get things off your chest. And I like to think I'm a good listener."_

_"No one wants to hear my problems."_

_"Well, you don't know that. I'm sure if you talked to your mom, or Kendall, they'd be more than happy to listen to you and help you. Kendall loves you a lot, you know. And I care about you, even if you are a scary pain in the butt," he smiled, hoping the risk of that joke was worth it. Katie smiled and he knew that it was. "Ah, a smile! But really, if you can't go to Kendall or your mom or anyone, I'm always here for you. Because well, I wouldn't go to Carlos or James for anything." _

_Katie laughed and said, "Okay, I'll tell you. But seriously, don't tell anyone about anything you saw or heard today, or I will get you."_

_"Oh I believe it."_

Katie sat in her backyard, reading the script for her newest role: Angelique, a young adventuress in a sci-fi thriller. And it was safe to say that she was stressed. There was a lot for her to learn in a short amount of time, and her lines were the least of her struggles. She had found a spot in one of the trees that sat in her yard, and was trying to adjust herself to find a comfortable position. This had become a common place for her to go since she had moved in to her house. It was fairly quiet, secluded, close to nature, and she really liked to be alone there. No one could see her. It was a great place for her to relax and think and sometimes do work.

Today, though, it was not so much a good place to do work. Katie found that she could not get completely comfortable, and her brain would not let her focus on her lines. Her mind kept wandering to a few nights ago at Kendall and Jo's wedding. Specifically, her thoughts were focused on Logan. Dancing with Logan. Staring at Logan. The feeling being around Logan had given her.

Katie had had crushes before. Plenty since she had been old enough to know what a crush was. But she had rarely ever had real, strong feelings for anyone, even boyfriends. There had been few guys she had been so drawn to that she couldn't stop thinking about them.

And it seemed that Logan had become one of them. Much to Katie's dislike. What, was she crazy? This was Logan. Her brother's best friend. Someone who had always been like an older brother to her. Someone who had often been a pain in the ass. Someone that she most definitely could not be developing feelings for.

...Someone who had been a part of her life since she could remember. Someone who had cared about her almost if not just as much as her brother. Someone who always listened when she had something to say. Someone who bailed her out of situations when her brother couldn't. Someone who...

she could see walking around the side of her house to her backyard. Shit. Katie accidentally dropped her script and it fell down onto the ground from her spot in the tree. Logan saw it, and with a confused face, looked up and spotted Katie.

"What're you doing up there?" he laughed, running over to pick up the script. "What's this?"

"Confidential!" Katie yelled down as she tried to get herself down. Once she had gotten near the bottom, she reached for a low branch and missed. She slipped and almost fell to the ground, but Logan caught her.

"Klutzy much?" he joked.

"Yeah, yeah," Katie mumbled, ignoring the chills running down her spine, "just put me down now. Thanks." Logan let her out of his arms and held the script out to her. She took it, trying a little too hard not to make contract with his hand, and thanked him again.

"So, is that your new Secret Place?" Logan asked.

"What?"

"You, know, your Secret Place. Years ago you had that little fort you'd go to when you wanted to get away from everyone. Is this your new spot?"

Katie froze. She didn't want Logan to know that yes, this was her new Secret Place. Because then he might know that she was pre-occupied with something and oh God he might ask what it is. And she couldn't lie to him. But he was waiting for an answer.

"Uh... what makes you think that?"

"Uh... because why else would you be up in a tree? And you looked a little worried when I saw you... And you seem hesitant to admit it. C'mon. I knew about your Secret Place and never told anyone. You can trust me. Admit it," he said that last part in a child-like voice.

"I guess it is. I don't know. I just like it."

"No judgement here. But you know that now I have to ask what's wrong."

"Nooooo you don't," Katie smiled and started to walk inside.

"Yeaaaaaah I do," Logan replied, following her. "I thought we told each other everything."

"Ha, no, I tell you everything, and you tell me barely any details of your life. So I think it's time that I stop telling you every little thing that I'm thinking."

"Whoa, where did that come from?"

"Look, I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know if I can tell you what I've been thinking about because I don't know how you'll react. And honestly, I feel a little uncomfortable opening up about it, especially when I've started to realize that I always tell you everything."

"So, you want me to tell you all of my dark secrets before you talk to me again?"

Katie laughed, "No, not exactly. I just feel like the conversation is usually one-sided."

"Alright. I'll tell you something private that's been on my mind lately, which I haven't told anyone and will be a little uncomfortable for me to tell you, and then you can tell me why you were in your new Secret Place. Deal?"

"Okay. But your confession has to be a good one or I'm not saying squat."


	8. To Be Brave

_Was she really going to go through with this? She'd gone to auditions before. Heck, she'd gotten parts for commercials, plenty, before. But a television show was different. And here, she was way out of her league. Katie was up for anything most of the time, but for the first time since she was a little girl, she felt terrified. What if she wasn't good enough? How bad would she feel afterwards? Was it worth it to keep trying? What if acting wasn't her thing?_

_She paced the floor in the living room, and eventually banged into a lamp._

_"You okay over there?" Logan called out from the kitchen._

_"Yeah, just bumped into the lamp, I'm alright."_

_"That's not what I meant."_

_Katie looked over at Logan, a confused look on her face._

_"I've been watching you pace back and forth like that for an hour, and while it's fairly entertaining, it also means something's bothering you."_

_Katie rolled her eyes and plopped onto the couch. She wasn't in the mood for Logan today. She was stressed and scared and didn't want to think about anything. She especially didn't want to talk about her feelings with Logan. Unfortunately, that seemed unavoidable, as he walked from his spot in the kitchen and sat down next to her. She decided not to drag it out, and gave in._

_"You know that audition I have today?" Logan Mhmm'd and she continued, "I'm scared, okay? I never get scared over stuff, but I'm terrified. And I feel completely stupid for telling you that. Don't tell anyone."_

_"I won't tell," Logan promised, "when do I ever tell?" Katie shrugged. "It's okay to be scared, y'know. The Katie I know is brave. And you can be scared and brave at the same time." Katie just looked back at him with a puzzled face. "To be brave is to be scared and take a chance anyway. So, it's okay that you're scared, but go for it anyway. Be brave."_

"I'm scared," said Logan. That was his big secret?

"Scared of what?" Katie asked.

Logan thought for a moment. "Everything, I guess. In all of my time in Hollywood, I have never gotten over my fear of being inadequate. I'm scared that people don't like me. For instance, if I quit BTR, or we broke up, or retired... I'm afraid that no one could care. You know, like no one cares about the real me. What I am when I'm not just part of a boy band."

Katie meant to interrupt, but Logan kept going, "And lately, I've just been thinking about that a lot - how scared I am. Of everything."

While Katie liked how honest Logan was being, it made her sad to know that this was how he was feeling. How did he manage to constantly help her when he felt like this? She almost wanted to come right out and confess her feelings, just so that he would know that someone cared. A lot. But it probably wouldn't really matter to him what she thought, so she tried to keep the conversation off of herself a little longer.

"How can you possibly feel that way, Logan? I mean, you have your own fanclub and everything," she patted his knee, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but when BTR eventually ends, will that disappear? Will all those people suddenly forget my existence? Does it even matter? I mean, I know they're just people. People that I don't know. But it's nice to have that support system, people looking up to you, caring about you. Yet, all those people will ever know of me is what I am when I'm with BTR."

Katie tried to find the right words to say, but that had never been her role in their relationship. Logan was always the one with comforting words and advice, not her. Now that it was her turn, she had no idea what to say. She'd never been great at comforting people. "Logan..." was all that came from her lips, sounding sad and pitying.

Logan didn't want her pity, and felt bad for dumping that on her. But he remembered the deal he had made, and if he was going to help Katie, he was going to be honest. Well, honest about something, enough to make her trust him enough to tell him what was wrong.

"Logan," Katie repeated, but her voice was different this time, urgent. She couldn't keep in her feelings any longer, though she desperately wanted to. She had to risk losing the friend she had in Logan. Because what was the point in having him to talk to if she couldn't talk to him. If there was a time to risk it, that time was now. Logan's eyes focused intently on her, and she swallowed roughly, trying not to lose her nerve.

"I don't know how to even tell you this," she looked away. "I've been running different outcomes of this through my head and questioning if my emotions are completely in check or not and I'm so confused but I'm also completely sure and... Ugh, I know that made absolutely no sense, but -"

"Whoa, Katie, calm down," Logan grabbed Katie's hand and rubbed it gently, soothingly. She swallowed again and tried to find her words. Words that made sense.

"I... Logan... I... havefeelingsforyou," it came out all at once, and she hoped he had heard it the first time so that she wouldn't have to say it again. She stared at her hand, which was still in Logan's, and waited for him to say something. When he didn't, she looked up. He was staring down at their hands just as she had been. "Logan, I'm so-"

"Don't apologize. Oh, please, Katie, don't. Don't ever apologize about how you feel. Besides, I asked you to tell me what you were thinking about, and well, you did."

"So..."

"So. Oh. Uh, I don't really know where to start," he looked up, his eyes catching hers. "Katie, honestly, I have feelings for you, too - but listen - I wasn't going to say anything. You're an adult now, yeah, but barely so. I don't want to take adv-"

"Advantage of me? Logan, that's ridiculous. Do you not know me at all? After all this time?" She was relieved to have told him. And over-the-moon that he returned her feelings. But she was less-than-thrilled at his hesitation.

"Look, I know, but you're still young. That's just a fact. You might not think-"

"The fact that you're so worried about taking advantage of me tells me that you won't!"

"Will you stop interrupting me?" Logan said, but he was smiling.

"Not until you admit that everything you're saying is bullshit. You told me you're scared. 'Of everything.' Be honest with me Logan, please. Is this," she pointed at herself then Logan repeatedly, "one of the things you're scared of?"

Logan opened his mouth, but no words came out at first. He looked down, then back up at Katie and said, "Yes."

"So am I," the words were barely spoken and Logan's brain hardly registered them at all before Katie had pushed her lips against Logan's. His eyes widened before shutting, and he almost fell back in surprise. He didn't think - it was too late for thinking, he was tired of thinking, thinking, thinking - he just took the out Katie had given him and let his heart and body take control. He kissed back, placing his hands on Katie's waist and pulling her closer. There were no clichéd "sparks" or "fireworks," but the warmth of Katie against him sent pleasure shooting throughout his body. He tried to deepen the kiss, but Katie pulled away.

She looked him straight in the eye as they both caught their breath, and said, "Someone really smart once told me, 'It's okay to be scared. To be brave is to be scared and take a chance anyway.' Be brave with me, Logan."


	9. Worth It

_"Someday I'll find someone who's worth it," Logan said to himself quietly. He shut the door and was grateful for the darkness of the apartment. At only 8 o'clock, he knew that no one was asleep (most likely - then again he'd learned to expect the unexpected) and he was alone._

_He didn't bother turning any lights on and instead walked to the living room and practically fell down onto the couch. He felt himself land on the television remote and pulled it out from under him. Turning the television on, his kicked off his shoes and tried to watch, tried to numb his brain with mindlessness. There was some comedy that he had never heard of on, and he figured it was as good as anything. But it didn't work. Memories from the night came flooding back. Alicia had been the first girl he had seriously taken an interest in since Camille. His feelings for her were strong and real and he was so sure that they would be great together. And well, they were. For a while. He had opened his heart to her and was convinced that she had done the same. _

_Traffic. Lights. Conversations. People. Lots and lots of people. If he hadn't turned at just the right time, he could have missed them. He almost wished that he had. "Ignorance is bliss," Logan wasn't sure if he said the thought out loud or not. Alicia and _Todd_. Of all people why did it have to be Todd? Ugh. Disgust. Shock. Realization. Anger. Sadness. Despair. Regret. Longing. It all had hit him at once and threatened to break him. When Alicia had seen him, too, she had tried to explain, tried to make things right. But all the explanation Logan had needed was in front of him and there was no making it right._

_That was what he got for feeling, he figured. He didn't want to close himself off from the world. He didn't want to be one of those people who hid themselves behind walls that took everything their partner had to knock down. But he was scared and he knew that feeling wouldn't just go away._

_The door to the apartment opened, and he heard someone slip in quietly. He lifted his head up from the couch and saw a small silhouette in the darkness. It must've been Katie._

_"Oh, you're awake," she flipped the lights on as she spoke. "I thought you were asleep, why were the lights-" she stopped mid-sentence. _

_Logan prayed she wouldn't ask if he was okay. This must be how she feels whenever I find her upset, he thought and almost laughed. He sighed in relief when she didn't. She only dropped her bag and went to the freezer. She took out 2 tubs of ice cream and two spoons, then went to the couch where logan was laying. _

_"Scoot over," she said, and sat down next to Logan once he sat up. She handed a tub of ice cream and a spoon to Logan and faced the television. He accepted, awkwardly, and almost spoke, but he didn't really know what to say._  
_"I... thanks, Katie."_

_"Don't mention it," she smiled. "So what're we watching?"_

Katie almost thought the whole thing had been a dream. She must have just dreamt up the most perfect scenario in her head, pieced together by her thoughts, desires, fears, and played out in her mind as she slept. That was her immediate thought as she slowly regained consciousness, but before opening her eyes. When she finally did, she realized that no, it hadn't been a dream. She was in her living room, the TV was on, and she was laying on the couch - no - she was laying on _someone_. Logan. She took up half the couch, her upper body leaning onto his. Logan's left arm was on her back and waist, holding her close to him. Katie was afraid to move, unwilling to ruin the wonderful moment she had found herself in. So she let herself relax against Logan's body and replayed the night's events over in her head.

She'd finally confessed her feelings to Logan. She'd actually said. Words. Out. Loud. To Logan's face.. She'd _kissed_ his face. It had taken some convincing to get Logan to see things her way... but a little kissing, a lot of talking, two pieces of cheesecake, and one movie later, Logan had given up his martyr stance and Katie couldn't have been happier. From what she could gather, they had both fallen asleep in the middle of the movie. Or the beginning. Or - Katie wasn't sure. To be honest, she couldn't even remember what movie they had been watching. She had been too busy thinking about Logan to pay attention.

Logan moved his arm slightly and muttered something incomprehensible. Katie decided now was as good a time as any to get up. She tried as carefully as she could to get out of his grip at first, but it was too strong. _God_damn_ Logan_, she thought, _screw it_. She threw herself up as fast and with as much weight as she could, pulling both herself and Logan (slightly) up. He fell to the floor with a thump and a groan.

"Warse thet relly necessary," he said, the sentence muffled and warped by the floor.

"Yes, it was. You have a death grip."

"You could have just said something to wake me up," Logan stood, rubbing his shoulder.

"Well, I thought this would be more effective."

"Mhmm. I'm sure."

Logan suddenly realized where he was and who he was with and what had led him there. It hit him hard - harder than the floor had just seconds ago. But in his heart he knew that he was in this. Completely. Katie had been right. He was scared. The beautiful girl - woman - in front of him had always been off-limits. Kendall's little sister. Someone he had seen as family. A kid. But she wasn't a kid anymore. She was still Kendall's little sister, though. He honestly had no idea what his reaction would be. Horror, disgust, betrayal, anger? Or would he be happy that of all people for Katie to be with that it was Logan? He would deal with that later, he thought. _They_ would deal with that later. As scared as he still was, he looked at Katie in front of him, and saw someone worth it.

**End.**

**Thank you to everyone who read this story, followed it, favorited it, and reviewed! This was the final chapter. I might write an epilogue if I can find the inspiration and the time (college is taking up a lot of my time these days). I hope you all enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it (which was a ****_lot_****)!**


	10. Epilogue

**So I found some free time and started writing and well... this sort of poured out of me. Seriously, thank you to everyone who read this story and I'm really glad that some of you seemed to have enjoyed it.**

"Logan, I've gotten to the point where I don't exactly tell my brother _everything_. Especially right away. Especially _especially_ about guys because he gets all over-protective and brotherly."

"My point. Exactly. And he's not just your brother, Katie, he's one of my best friends. I can't just not tell him and I can't hide it from him."

"Don't worry about it, I can handle-"

"Katie, I told you, _I'm in this_ and I don't go back on my word, so I'm not hiding our relationship from _anyone_, least of all your brother and _my best friend_."

Katie smiled. Logan was rather attractive (er, _more attractive than usual_) when he got all fiery and defensive. And she didn't really want to keep anything from Kendall, but she just didn't know how to tell him. Or what to tell him. She laced her fingers through Logan's and pulled him forward with her.

"Okay, let's go tell him."

"Tell who what?" Katie swore Carlos just materialized out of nowhere. She hadn't seen him coming - which was odd, you could _always_ see Carlos coming.

"What did I miss? Ah, damn-it, not my new jacket," James stepped out from a side road, presumably the one Carlos had come from. He was pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed his sleeve. Katie didn't want to know what. He finished and looked up. Logan and Katie had frozen, and he and Carlos looked at them expectantly. James raised his left brow when he noticed the couple's hands intertwined. Then he smiled. "Logan you sly dog."

Logan blushed and looked away. Katie squeezed his hand tighter and rolled her eyes at James. Carlos stood with a confused expression on his face.

"Did I miss something?" he asked. Katie raised up her right hand, holding Logan's still. After a moment of thought, Carlos seemed to get the picture, "oh, _oh. _Wow. Cool! You guys make a nice couple."

"Thank you, Carlos," Katie smiled sweetly, then shot a glance at James.

"Hey I was joking! It's a guy thing, you know? No? Ohhhkay. So, uh, does Kendall know?"

Logan spoke up, "No, he doesn't. And that's what Carlos overheard us talking about before." He rubbed his hand through his hair absentmindedly. "I'm a little afraid to tell him. You know how Kendall gets sometimes when he's in big-brother mode."

"Oh, how do I get?" Logan yelped at the sound of Kendall's voice behind him, his hand ripping from Katie's. She laughed at the sight of Logan freaking out and the investigative persona Kendall was putting on.

"Why do you guys keep just popping up out of nowhere! I swear, sometimes it's like we're in a TV show when you just show up out of the blue," Logan's voice was shaking a bit; he still a little shocked from the surprise. Kendall managed to laugh. He patted Logan on the back.

"Lighten up, dude," Kendall said. "But seriously, what were you saying about me?"

"Uh, Kendall, we, uh, have to talk to you," she looked from Logan to Kendall.

"I'm all ears, baby sister."

"Okay, so, before I say this, I just want to tell you that I am an adult and this is partially my decision and whether it is a mistake or not it is my decision to make and besides everyone makes mistakes, but I don't think this is a mistake and well-"

"Whoa there, slow down," Kendall placed a hand on Katie's shoulder. "Breathe. Whenever you get nervous you ramble, I know, but you've gotta breathe. I'm not going to judge you Katie, you know that."

"Well it's not just me I'm worried about either," she tried not to look at Logan, and started to speak again, but he cut her off.

"Katie and I are dating."

She gave him a sharp look, but reached for his hand. He took it, finding comfort in her touch. Kendall watched as he did, eyes wide.

"Hey, Logan, let's go talk. Katie, stay here, please. Seriously. Please. Stay."

"I'm not a-"

Kendall was pulling Logan away before she could finish.

"-dog." But she stayed put.

Logan couldn't tell exactly how Kendall was feeling. His eyes were still a little wide, but his expression was mostly blank. They stopped a ways down the road, and Kendall let out a long, loud sigh as he let go of Logan's arm. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes.

"Please explain."

Logan began to, "Well-"

"Please explain to me why you are dating my _baby sister_ and how in the world this happened. I'm not really angry I'm just extremely confused... Okay maybe I'm a little angry but mostly just puzzled."

Katie watched as Logan and Kendall spoke. She could see past Kendall's blank expression. He wasn't happy. He wasn't really mad, or he would show it. But he wasn't happy. Still, this was good. She could talk to him and it would be no problem.

Logan's hands flailed as he talked. Kendall's were crossed in front of his chest. Slowly, Kendall's position relaxed, but Katie could see the emotion in his face. Frustration, disappointment, concern. She decided that no, she would not stay as Kendall had asked her to. She started walking, but eventually ran over to where Logan and Kendall stood, and interrupted.

"Look, Kendall. Be angry or whatever. Be that way for a little while. But you're going to have to get over it. This is happening, whether you like it or not. Our relationship is between two consenting adults. Two people you love very much. I'm always going to be your baby sister, I know, but I do have to grow up sometime. And I am. And Logan is always going to be your best friend because you two are the _best _best friends and that's just how it is. And if we ever break up it will be okay because I'd like to think we're all fairly mature."

"Yeah, good thing Carlos and James weren't still around when you said that," Kendall said, smiling. Katie smiled back.

"So, we're good?" Logan tested the waters. The joke was a good sign.

"Yeah, we're good man. You're my best friend, and I trust you. And Katie, I love you and I respect your decisions. Even if it's hard for me to accept that you've grown up. But," he turned to Logan, "she is still my sister and if you hurt her, I don't know if I'll be as mature as Katie gives me credit for being."

"Note taken."

Katie hugged Kendall tightly, saying, "Thank you."

Kendall let go first, "I've gotta get back to the studio - actually, _we_ have to get back to the studio," he looked at Logan. "Songs don't write and record themselves. You coming, Katie?"

"Well, that was the plan earlier, but that was just so we could tell you... you know. Um, I think I might skip out on that."

"No, come," Logan said as he took her hand.

"Yeah. I mean, you haven't been there in a while, right? It'd give Gustavo a good scare. Don't tell me that isn't tempting?"

"Ugh, you got me. Fine, I'll go with you guys," she feigned annoyance, but couldn't hide the smile she had on her face.

The three walked down the street in the direction of the studio. Kendall slightly in front, Katie and Logan side by side, hand in hand. Katie leaned into Logan's side a bit and looked up as they strolled on, letting herself get lost in thoughts, not scared of where they would take her. For so long Katie had been living in the past. Wishing, longing, missing. Thinking of things she would change, things she would erase. But for the first time in what seemed like a long time, she was completely present. And she wouldn't change a thing.


End file.
